Flower that doesn’t smell

No matter, how many words you add to your vocabulary or how well versed your are in any language. Someday, some moment a person comes in your life and you fell short of word and expression to describe her.

It’s probably not about the person. You have been watching her for years yet there comes a moment and she becomes the most beautiful thing in the world.

That’s the moment of pure ecstasy.

So Beauty is definitely not, how things look.

It’s music of a song.

It’s taste of a food.

It’s touch of a baby.

It’s smell of a flower.

Yet she was in love with a flower that doesn’t smell.

And I,

I had all desires to be loved.

But no reasons to be loved.

----------------------------------x      The Beginning      x---------------------------------------

The New Girl In The City

Shiny was the sea, reflecting back the Sun,
Shouts of the vendors and noises of the people,
People and People, people were all around,
Amidst of all that, there was that sound.
She longed for long and she was here,
All the noises, as if were musical chants
Smiled to everybody and smiled when they laughed.
Came alone in the big city, to conquer it or loose herself.
Igniting the dead world around with her alacrity
The New Girl In The City.

The rendezvous was much like a deza vu.
She smiled and I listened.
She talked and I watched her.
I lived it a night before.
Except she wasn't this pretty and it was a dream.
But she was here to win all the dreams with her ability.
The New Girl In The City







It isn't my story.
She belongs here and she was here.
No Shoes to fill in, only wings to fly away.
Scared a little inside,afraid to loose herself.
but mistakes were apparently better than regrets.
People and people, People were all around.
Amidst that she was alone, seeking herself to be found.
I met her the first time and now i am writing
Stranger was she but still somehow i got this affinity,
The New Girl In The City.


PS: The imaginery place is Marine Drive, Mumbai.
Thanks Neha for the photograph. BTW you look B'ful.

Bookmark

It's been like a book.
My life!
An open book, I won't say.
Nobody ever bother to read it anyway.

The beginning,
Where I didn't know what I was.
And the next phase,
Where I didn't know, I was for what cause.
Then where, I was centre of the universe.
I was the reason of everything ever existed.
Then where, I understood, I was just a someone.
And my sense and logics altogether got twisted.
Then I was confused,
All my thoughts were so randomly organised
And a symmetrical chaos in my mind.
My logics failed to tell me what to do.
That's the page where I met YOU.

Then the part where you left me,
I lost all the thoughts and sight.
Hundred times I have tried,
But I just couldn't write.
Now don't even know how to write,
Perhaps you were the pen.
Have never been a writer,
Didn't understand why were you a fan.

Now the book write itself,
Not a single word I know,
All the pages seem dark.
But I open it everyday,
Just to re-read the pages,
Where you left the bookmark.

Happening it may not be,
But I won't let it be a sad story.
Gloomy it may seem,
But somewhere in there, I have a little spark.
I have always been the hero,
Though in my legacy, I don't carry much glory.
I can only brag about the pages,
Where you left the bookmark.

Maelstrom it is.
And you were supposed to be my ark.
But all I can do is, re-read the pages
Where you left the bookmark.

THE ONE

This one is for one of my best friend. I have just given the words to what she wants to express to the world.

They Said "Hi",
I waved them Back.
I was a Collegue.
They were sad,
I pretended to be crack.
I was a friend

They needed help,
I was their guide.
I was a sister.
He didn't ask me to chose,
But i was on his side.
I was a lover.

I was a Collegue,
A friend,
A sister
& a Lover.
When all I wanted to be
A NO ONE.

They tell me to be organized.
I am as random as draw of a dice.
I am a no one.
They tell me to be altruistic.
I don't always want to sacrifice.
I am a no one.

I am a no one.
Just want everything to be undone.

Just want to walk,
The road which goes nowhere.
Don't want a name,
So nobody will call me back from here.
Don't know where I am heading,
But someday I will find my sun.
Till then let me be
What I am and want to be
A NO ONE.

The Traveler

It was beautiful, alluring,
Just in sight for the moment.
Wanted it or perhaps didn't,
Wasn't so casual but neither too urgent.
It's a journey to reach somewhere,
Just to reach somewhere else.
Temporary it is, all I am gonna get is
The time I spent.

Final destination exists.
I have given up the hope.
I am the traveler,
I just don't have to stop.

 















World don't walk with you,
Learnt it the hard way.
I was the one to stand by my side
Even the mirrors were taken.
She came and I saw love,
She defined the hope and life.
But was snatched away
And I was broken.

Gathered the pieces and again I started.
Understood what they mean when they say cold hearted.

Walking parallel,
But still hoping to reach the top.
I am the traveler,
I just don't have to stop.

It's a journey to reach somewhere,
Just to reach somewhere else.
All I am gonna get is
The time I spent.
Time changed But travel didn't.
But it took another bent.

You came,
You loved me, you told me.
I loved you, you knew it.
It was perfect, All that I wanted.
But just matter of time and I blew it.

Stability,
You gave me.
Stagnation,
I felt.
Those unshaded tears
And I didn't melt.

Life offered me joy,
But didn't know how to shop.
I am the traveler,
I just don't have to stop.

Its a journey to reach somewhere,
Just to reach somewhere else.
Temporary it is, all I am gonna get is,
The time I spent.
The pressure was building for ages,
Sorry, you have to be the vent.

Right wasn't I, I knew.
But tired of carrying the guilt.
And When did I say,
I am some priest or pope.
I am just a traveler.
And all I know is,
I don't have to stop.

Thinking Of You

Thinking of you, thinking of you,

All the times we spent.

Your laughing face, the crying eyes,

The walks under the blue skies.

You were meant for me,

I was meant for you.

You told me now, but I always knew.

Thinking of you, thinking of you.

You just came to me and show me the world.

And we made a new start.

All the hugs and the kisses,

Those shooting stars and the wishes.

You were meant for me,

I was 

meant for you.

You told me now, but I always knew.

Thinking of you, thinking of you.

You have gone away, I am feeling blue.

Thinking of you, thinking of you.

You have gone away, I am feeling blue.

Thinking of you, thinking of you.

Thinking of you, thinking of you.

Life is Funny

One moment, it was mine,

Then puffff… it disappeared.

Couldn’t smile while I had it but cried when it’s gone.

Confused as much as one could be,

Or maybe I took sadness for confusion.

It will just echo back, whatever is your tone.

On a serious note… Life is funny.

You never know when it’s rainy & when it’s sunny.

Expectations lead to sorrow, they say,

But again its make you feel alive.

It’s ok to be sad; you are not just mean to be a happy bunny.

Smile when you are sad and cry in happiness,

Confuse it, as it intended for us.

Let the salt be sweet & make it sour with honey.

On a serious note… Life is funny.

You never know when it’s rainy & when it’s sunny.

Teri Kami Hai

Phir Se Hansa Hai,

Chhut Kar, Dil Udane Ko Chala Hai,

Laga Hai, Zinda Hun Phir Se Aaj,

Saanson Me Hai Raftaar, Par Dhadkane Thami Hai,

Teri Kami Hai...

Khwahishain Na Rahin Thi,

Par Phir Se Koi Khwab Aankhon Ne Buna Hai,

Laga Hai Paa Loon Kuch Naya Phir Se Aaj,

Chahere Par Hansi To Hai, Par Aankhon Me Kyon Ye Nami Hai,

Teri Kami Hai...

Kab Se Bhujhi Thi,

Aankhein Ab Meri Nayi Duniya Banane Chali Hai,

Laga Hai Saja Loon Ek Naya Aashiyan Phir Se Aaj,

Haan Khush To Hun Main, Par Koi To Gami Hai,

Teri Kami Hai…

Milenge  Milenge Hum,

Jate Jate Sada Teri Aankhein Ye Vada Deti Chali Hai,

Laga Ki Yun Hi Is Rah Par Mile Phir Se Aaj,

Usi Rah Par Yaha Khade, Hum To Humi Hai,

Teri Kami Hai…

But My Pen Bitterly Cried

The Glance,

The Dance,

The walks,

The Talks,

& now these Rains…

I hold the tears in my eyes,

But…

My pen bitterly cries.

The unsaid conversations,

The untraveled journeys,

The unsung songs,

The unseen dreams,

& now these unlistened screams…

I hold the tears in my eyes,

But…

My pen bitterly cries.

The things we said but were never done,

The race we decided but forget to run,

When you said you loved me even I did,

But you didn’t understand, I should have plead,

& now these unsaid words make my heart bleed.

Still I hold my tears in eyes,

But…

My pen bitterly cries.

P S I Love You

Every fight

When I had to get agree with you,

& then you said let’s not do it.

Every question

When I would tell the answer,

& then you said you already knew it.

Every Plan

When you were the one to decide,

& then in the end you blew it.

I hated you a lot.

Every party

When you insisted me so much to sing,

& then you told me how horrible was my voice.

Every exam

When I told you I didn’t score well,

& then you said it’s a moment to rejoice.

Every movie

When you asked me to review,

& then you told me how bad was my choice.

I hated you a lot.

You said you will come to my college & you did not.

I hated you for that.

You said you will dance with me & forgot.

I hated you for that.

You promised me things which are never shown.

I hated you for that.

You said you will never leave me & now you are gone.

I hated you for that.

I hated you every moment, every hour and every day.

I hated you, I hated you. I hated you all the way.

PS: I LOVE YOU.

One Last Try

To love you or not, I was never sure,

But you were !!!

To say it or not, you were never sure,

Wish you were !!!

But here I know it now, for you and me,

But why I couldn’t see before what I see.

I just don’t get it how it works…

But there is always gonna be a you and I,

So here I am making, one last try.

Yeah I like your singing but I don’t do singings,

I really suck !!!

What’s wrong with writing, understanding my writings,

You barely had some luck !!!

But here I say it for now and ever,

I promise nothing of that gonna matter, now and never.

I just don’t get it how it works…

But there is always gonna be a you and I,

So here I am making, one last try.

Now I know you love me,

Wish I could hear it more !!!

And you know I love you,

Wish you could understand before !!!

But here I am, knowing it’s too late coz you are gone,

Eventually, like all the times, I ended up alone.

I just don’t get it how it works…

But there is always gonna be a you and I,

So here I am making, one last try.

It's Too Noisy

Misjudged was my silence

Not sure, anybody judged it.

Wasn't falling apart,

Just needed a little peace.

Its just too noisy & I am trying to think.

Believe me, believe me, there is no other link.

Will tell you the things,

& Will say it out loud.

Sure you will listen it,

Not sure, Can understand.

Its not you I am blaming,

It's all on me.

Sure you have been & will be

Best of the friend.

Its just too noisy & I am trying to think.

Believe me, believe me, there is no other link.

Its too noisy & I am trying to think

Don't ask me what

I won't able to show.

Don't ask me till when,

I probably don't know.

But all I know is…

Its too noisy & I am trying to think.

Believe me, believe me, there is no other link

Wish I Could Turn Back Time

It doesn't go the way it should,

Hope it won't matter, but it would.

My feelings

The care

& The affection

With the whole share.

And my undying love for you.

All I wanted in return was

To be loved back, may be wrong.

But can you really blame me,

If I am not that very strong.

When

All I ever did was love you.

All I ever saw was your face.

All I ever wanted, was that smile,

Devastated I am, it will take me a while.

How long will it take, don't know

Has been a week, month & almost an year,

Still its all cloudy,

My sky will never be clear.

There is no going back, is there?

Still wanna ask you, but can't dare.

Just be the friends

We were & we could be.

Putting it all aside

May be soon forgotten, it would be.

The friends with no demand & no complain.

Can't we just start it all over again?

May Be, Someday !

Walked when I woke up. 
Walked till I slept. 
Miles & miles, 
& Miles I walked. 
Things that didn't matter, the reason I walked. 
Things that mattered, couldn't bother I walked. 

There were problems to be tackled, 
I ran away. 
There were people looking into my eyes, 
I looked away. 
There were friends with hopes, 
Showing me a way. 
But I had to keep walking, 
No reson to stay. 

Running away from you, 
Or running away from me. 
Towards you or don't know where, 
I just couldn't see. 
Just kept moving on & on. 
Running away & away. 

But nowhere could I go. 

Years it has been, every day I walk. 
Perhaps distance and direction always decive me. 
Still running away and standing still, 
Right where we meet, stay and you leave me. 

Can't move on without you. 
Walking and waiting, that's all I do. 
Atleast come and tell me, which way to go. 
Till then I have to keep going, that's all I know. 

Not sure you will come and do the talking, 
May be someday I will move on, 
I have to keep walking. 

May be... 
Someday...

DooooooooooooooooR

Tu ek tarang hai,

Umang hai, mere sang bhi hai,

Phir door hai kyon...       

Batain lambi, chhoti,

Ankhain jage, na soti.

Milenge hum, tum rona nahi,   

Aanshu nahi, ye hai moti.         

Tujhe manaa lun,

Chura lun, chhupa lun,

Phir majboor hai kyon...

Tu ek tarang hai,

Umang hai, mere sang bhi hai,

Phir door hai kyon... 

Kaha hai lafzo me kai dafa,

Par keh kahan paya hun main.

Jaun, chahe jaun jidhar,

Teri ore hi to chala aaya hun main.

Pagal hai,

Ziddi hai, tu kitni jhalli hai.

Par mera gurur hai tu.

Tu ek tarang hai,

Umang hai, mere sang bhi hai,

Par phir kyon...

Haan kyon, itni door hai tu...

I Found ME.

People Walked along with me,
journey was mine.
Few turned away
Few joined in.
I was to keep going,
Perhaps !
Shining sun reflected in the glass.
and no more could I see the mark.
It was turning dark.

You wish to see a thing,
It appears something else.
and what it actually is, you never know.
Forest it appeared,
Desert I got.
All I wanted was a little park.
It was turning dark.

The dark that always scared me.
Lonely I was,
It told me.
I was falling,
but i have fallen before.
I have to rise on my own it reminded me.

No friendly faces but no scary shadows.
A peace there was but no assuring voices.

It was all dark.
No one could I see.
felt like no one there had been.
and there I found ME.

The Beginning

A new beginning, a new blog.

In last 5-6 years, i have written many blogs and then one odd day I delete them. But with all those blogs I was trying to pursue something, a story or a theme or something. And I spoiled that in middle every time, so this time I don't make such promises, this time it is purely about me and my perceptions.

So it can be as random as life.